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<title><![CDATA[MooresvilleTribune.com: Scott Hollifield]]></title>
<link>http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/list/entertainment/hollifield/</link>
<description><![CDATA[MooresvilleTribune.com: Scott Hollifield]]></description>
<language>en</language>

<item>
<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: Honest, Abe, I'm here to help the busy presidents]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/nov/19/scott-hollifield-honest-abe-im-here-help-busy-pres/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/nov/19/scott-hollifield-honest-abe-im-here-help-busy-pres/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[In March of 1861, 8-year-old George Patten was having a rough go of it in school. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:07:00 EST]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: Up the mountain and back in time]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/nov/12/scott-hollifield-mountain-and-back-time/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/nov/12/scott-hollifield-mountain-and-back-time/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[My truck may be a time machine. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 12 Nov 2009 21:54:00 EST]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: Thankfully, lion attacks now rare in the workplace]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/nov/05/scott-hollifield-thankfully-lion-attacks-now-rare-/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/nov/05/scott-hollifield-thankfully-lion-attacks-now-rare-/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[It was a good day at work. I wasn't eaten by a lion. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:00:00 EST]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: It doesn't take an Einstein to make your baby a genius]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/oct/29/scott-hollifield-it-doesnt-take-einstein-make-your/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/oct/29/scott-hollifield-it-doesnt-take-einstein-make-your/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[The Walt Disney Co. is offering parents who bought Baby Einstein videos for their youngsters a refund because, as it turns out, moms and dads can't park Junior's high chair in front of the flat screen and return an hour later to find him piecing together the great American novel from leftover alphabet soup. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 29 Oct 2009 22:37:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: Stolen rack story captivates tiny portion of entire nation]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/oct/22/scott-hollifield-stolen-rack-story-captivates-tiny/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/oct/22/scott-hollifield-stolen-rack-story-captivates-tiny/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[Last week's column, in which I described in vivid detail the theft of one our newspaper racks, my comically heroic efforts to recover it from behind a grocery store and the debilitating back injury I suffered while loading its remains onto a truck, drew much sympathy from readers. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 22 Oct 2009 22:57:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: Top 10 reasons not to steal a newspaper rack]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/oct/15/scott-hollifield-top-10-reasons-not-steal-newspape/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/oct/15/scott-hollifield-top-10-reasons-not-steal-newspape/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[After someone stole one of our newspaper racks and left its dented carcass behind a grocery store, I compiled a list of the top 10 reasons not to steal a newspaper rack and leave its dented carcass behind a grocery store in an effort to discourage future crimes of this nature. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 15 Oct 2009 22:16:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: New plan -- a dinosaur and our future]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/oct/08/scott-hollifield-new-plan----dinosaur-and-our-futu/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/oct/08/scott-hollifield-new-plan----dinosaur-and-our-futu/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[I've got a new plan. 
And if this were a movie, and you were in the movie and I explained my new plan, you would say, "That's just crazy enough to work." ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 08 Oct 2009 22:25:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: Parents lie and that's the truth]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/oct/01/scott-hollifield-parents-lie-and-s-truth/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/oct/01/scott-hollifield-parents-lie-and-s-truth/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[Parents lie to kids. 
I told my daughter they don't, but that was just another in a long line of whoppers that roll easily off the tongues of moms and dads, according to new research from the University of Toronto and the University of California, San Diego. 
]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:29:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: Disturbance-avoiding radar on the fritz]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/sep/24/scott-hollifield-disturbance-avoiding-radar-fritz/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/sep/24/scott-hollifield-disturbance-avoiding-radar-fritz/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[It was the first day of autumn - the early evening, actually - when I was called home to investigate a disturbance. 
I never saw it coming. We were putting the finishing touches on another edition of the newspaper — yep, we still make 'em — and I could almost feel the warm familial greeting and taste the ice-cold beverage that I was sure awaited me at my aluminum-sided castle. 
]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 24 Sep 2009 22:36:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: Men's grooming raises eyebrows]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/sep/17/scott-hollifield-mens-grooming-raises-eyebrows/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/sep/17/scott-hollifield-mens-grooming-raises-eyebrows/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[A lot of British men are going to brow bars to get threaded. 
Yeah, that's what I thought, too, but it doesn't mean that at all. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 17 Sep 2009 22:44:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: Stay in school -- they've got tater tots]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/sep/10/scott-hollifield-stay-school----theyve-got-tater-t/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/sep/10/scott-hollifield-stay-school----theyve-got-tater-t/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[Note: Inspired by President Barack Obama's recent speech to the nation's school children, columnist Scott Hollifield decided to give his own back-to-school address. So far, no schools have accepted his offer and all media outlets have ignored him, but that did not stop him from releasing this transcript of his prepared remarks in an effort to stave off criticism and outrage that has not yet materialized. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 10 Sep 2009 22:27:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: Just what the doctor ordered - a $3.2 billion fine]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/sep/03/scott-hollifield-just-what-doctor-ordered---32-bil/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/sep/03/scott-hollifield-just-what-doctor-ordered---32-bil/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer will pay fines totaling $3.2 billion for, among other irregularities, plying doctors with golf outings, massages and lavish vacations to encourage them to prescribe medications for uses other than intended, which may explain why I received a Viagra prescription for post-nasal drip. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 03 Sep 2009 22:00:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: Froggy no longer goes a-courtin']]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/aug/27/scott-hollifield-froggy-no-longer-goes--courtin/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/aug/27/scott-hollifield-froggy-no-longer-goes--courtin/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[It's enough to give Kermit road rage. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:52:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: We all remember our first clunker]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/aug/20/scott-hollifield-we-all-remember-our-first-clunker/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/aug/20/scott-hollifield-we-all-remember-our-first-clunker/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[I got cash for my first clunker, but it wasn't a government rebate. 

It was $100 or so from a guy at a gas station who figured he could salvage enough parts to turn a slight profit from a vehicle that had been wrapped around a locust tree. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 20 Aug 2009 20:56:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: Fact check -- Forced tonsillectomies not in health care overhaul  ]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/aug/13/scott-hollifield-fact-check----forced-tonsillectom/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/aug/13/scott-hollifield-fact-check----forced-tonsillectom/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[With all the hoopla, blustering and misinformation surrounding health care reform, it's no wonder many Americans are confused, scared, angry, sweaty, nauseous and covered in a mysterious rash. 
TV sound bites, radio talk shows and town hall meetings have left us wondering whether or not a guy at the Post Office will perform our next colonoscopy. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 13 Aug 2009 23:03:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: In Ireland, they'll get your goat (if you don't have a license)]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/jul/23/scott-hollifield-ireland-theyll-get-your-goat-if-y/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/jul/23/scott-hollifield-ireland-theyll-get-your-goat-if-y/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[In the Golden State, leading lizard researchers have -- 


We interrupt this column about the discovery of a new species of horny toad in California for breaking news from several days ago: IRELAND'S GOAT KING IN JEOPARDY. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 23 Jul 2009 22:37:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: Wrestling with the past can get a little strange]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/jul/16/scott-hollifield-wrestling-past-can-get-little-str/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/jul/16/scott-hollifield-wrestling-past-can-get-little-str/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[The author Thomas Wolfe said you can't go home again, but what he really meant was you can't buy a vintage pro wrestling magazine from the 1970s at a comic book convention in an attempt to recapture memories from your childhood without being stunned and more than a little creeped out by what you find within its pages. 

Wolfe scholars will back me up on that. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 16 Jul 2009 22:13:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: A look at a future so gray]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/jul/12/scott-hollifield-look-future-so-gray/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/jul/12/scott-hollifield-look-future-so-gray/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[A Census Bureau report released July 6 shows the age-65-and-older population will jump worldwide from 516 million in 2009 to 1.53 billion in 2050 and the 85-and-older group will increase from 40 million to 219 million, which means a lot more people will eat dinner at 4 p.m. 

Shoney's, you have been warned. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Sun, 12 Jul 2009 16:26:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<item>
<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: She got the message, again and again and...]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/jul/02/scott-hollifield-she-got-message-again-and-again-a/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/jul/02/scott-hollifield-she-got-message-again-and-again-a/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[Up until our 13-year-old daughter went to the beach with extended family and left my wife and me behind to fret about shark attacks, sunburn and teenage boys, I had, over the course of my life, sent no more than a dozen text messages. 
I spend a huge chunk of my existence at a keyboard trying to put events in some sort of semi-meaningful perspective and find little reason to poke away with uncoordinated thumbs at the tiny pad on my prehistoric (three-year-old) cell phone. I fear I will text my wife about picking up "milk," accidentally type "milf" and end up on the losing end of a divorce settlement. She gets the guitars, the TVs and Granddad's pistol and I get a set of napkin rings, an alimony payment and the chair in the basement that smells like bad cheese. ]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:10:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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<title><![CDATA[Scott Hollifield: Python project bound to go HORRIBLY WRONG]]></title>

<link><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/jun/25/scott-hollifield-python-project-bound-go-horribly-/entertainment/]]></link>


<guid><![CDATA[http://www2.mooresvilletribune.com/content/2009/jun/25/scott-hollifield-python-project-bound-go-horribly-/entertainment/]]></guid>

<description><![CDATA[As the crow flies - or more appropriately as the snake slithers - the Savannah River Ecology Lab in South Carolina is roughly 200 miles from my house. 

Scientists there have built a large snake pit and stocked it with snakes implanted with high-tech gizmos to determine if Florida's Burmese python problem will spread across the Southeastern U.S. and into my backyard. 
]]></description>
<pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 25 Jun 2009 22:05:00 EDT]]></pubDate>
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