Adoptive parents, children get a chance to bond

Michael Byers couldn't wait to get back on the docks to go tubing again.

The 15-year-old stood on the steps of the Windemere's subdivision clubhouse ready to take off the second the boat returned to the dock. Like most of the 55 children from the Children's Home Society of North Carolina at the In His Wake event on Saturday, Michael didn't just want to splash around in the pool.

He wanted to find his family.

"I feel like I need a role model in my life," Michael said. "Someone to care for me, accept me for who I am."

In addition to getting over their fear of the water and being pulled along by a high-speed boat, Saturday's event also gave children who are "legally-eligible for adoption" the chance to meet prospective parents.

Most of the children are from Mecklenburg County and are older than 6, said Children's Home Recruitment Outreach Director Cindy Knul.

In His Wake Director Nate Miller said the two groups have been working together for events like this for years. Miller said that through In His Wake, children learn that "victory only comes when you get off the dock and overcome your fears."

Iredell County Department of Social Services program administrator Lisa York said the county hasn't hosted events like this, but has participated in some of them. If a family member is unable to take in a child, then the county tries to place them with a foster family who wants to adopt.

During the 2008-09 fiscal year, 18 children were adopted in Iredell.

Knul said events like this one give families, who have already qualified for adoption and are certified as foster parents, an opportunity to meet the children and see if they match up.

"You don't meet your friends through a piece of paper," she said. "Unless, you are writing a personal ad."

A lot of children Michael's age have a harder time getting adopted, said Michael Maxwell, who acts as Michael's Wendy's Wonderful Kids Recruiter for Children Home Society.

"Families look for younger kids naturally," he said.

The events give the children the power to make their own decisions, Knul said.

At the end of meet-and-greet events like this, children and prospective parents can express their interest in one another. Maxwell said he keeps an eye on the children he is working with to see who they are talking to.

If Michael, for instance, leaves for a moment, Maxwell said he will go up and talk to what is referred to as a "waiting family" to see how they got along.

Some connections are enhanced at these events, but the potential is enormous, he said.

The Wrona family of Pinehurst and 9-year-old Alexis are finding out just how rewarding the connections can be.

Jeff and Tina Wrona met Alexis at a previous event, and knew almost instantly she was their daughter.
"I just felt that nearness you do with your kids," Tina Wrona said. "You do anything for them."
On Saturday, Alexis was calling Tina "Mom" and was snuggling and holding her hand when she got the chance.

The couple already has four boys, whose ages range from three to 14.

They said they told the boys they were interested in adopting a girl, around 9 years old. Tina said they decided to adopt a girl because she would be able to devote the additional time Alexis will need to adjust to her new life.

"I would have adopted an 18-year-old," Tina said. "They still need parents and they need somewhere to go for Christmas. Someone to call for advice."

Their sons told their parents they understand what will happen if and when Alexis joins the family. The boys met her for the first time on Thursday.

"Cooper said 'I like her, no, I love her,' " Tina said, smiling.

The hard part, the couple said, was the waiting. The little girl will move into the Wrona's house in a couple of months for 90 days before her adoption can be finalized, Jeff said.

Jeff said they've sat down with Alexis' therapist to learn what they can to help her adjust to the upcoming changes.

Knul said the Children's Home Society and Mecklenburg County Youth and Family Services train families to understand and respect the connection some of these children might have with their birth families.

"She's really wanting this," Tina said. "We couldn't be happier with the way this has gone."